Buhtt sex?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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