i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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