I'm eating all of the evidence.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
