Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
