My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
