addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
