so explain again why im purple
no
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
