Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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