So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
