I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
