we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
