First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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