For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
