So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
this hospital has no fireball
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
