Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize