From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
