my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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