We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
