Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
