also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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