Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
