yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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