He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
