our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
