Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
