Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Someone shattered a urinal.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
