how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
