so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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