I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i think im in europe. pls send help
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