I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
