what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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