There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
