my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
