The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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