Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
