also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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