Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize