Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize