oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
