I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
