I must be too annoying 4 u.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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