It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
