yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
