All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
