careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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