Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Actions speak louder than pants.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize