that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
