i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
