Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize