This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize