Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
