So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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