I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
