I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
