I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize