so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
