That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
