Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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