Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
