I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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