pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
