half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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