I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
