If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
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