What did we do last night that was yellow?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
