Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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