ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
