We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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