shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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