I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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