Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
