I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize