I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
